From Conflict to Cooperation


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Week Four:  Collaboration

Download Handout Here

Quick Recap:

  • We started by checking in with each other, and talking about needs for the last session.
  • We grounded ourselves with some breathing and gentle stretches.
  • We discussed the Collaborative Problem Solving model:  (1)  Kids do well when they can;  (2)  When kids are not doing well, it is because they are struggling to meet our expectations;  (3)  Identify lagging skills and unsolved problems;  (4)  Solve problems proactively and collaboratively.
  • We practiced using the script: "I've noticed that you're struggling with _______.  What's up?"  Empathize empathize empathize.  "The thing is __________.  How can we solve this problem?"
  • We talked about how this practice makes us feel - "My parents didn't collaborate with me and I turned out okay.  This makes me feel resentful."  Or "I hear my parents' voices in my head, judging me."
  • We closed with a Circle of Courage.


Homework:

  • Practice collaborative problem solving from the template.

  • Let us know what your needs for next week are!


Self-Reflection

What does this stir up for me?

What do I tell myself about who I am as a parent when my child doesn't obey?

Why is changing the way I react important to me?


Reminders:

  • Slow down.  
  • Slow down again.
  • Focus on empathy and connection.
  • Continue to empathize until everyone agrees that their feelings and needs have been understood.
  • ONLY then explore solutions.  Let your child take the first crack at offering a solution.
  • Celebrate our peacemaking.



A Few More Resources

Questions? Answers? Comments?

You can email us at:

Amy: [email protected]

Kate: [email protected]


Here's the Zoom LINK for all sessions. 


See you next week!